June 17, 2009
Okay, so I realize that most people know who this guy is, but some don’t. Even if you do… this is my favorite comedian! 
His name is Jeff Dunham. He’s a ventriloquist and this is his puppet named Peanut. Peanut’s hilarious. If you have a chance, youtube search “Jeff Dunham Peanut Santa Anna”. Sah-na-tah-ah-nah!
:Batman:
June 16, 2009
So I was watching a video spotlighting something… And then there was an ad for Star Trek. Which is growing on me. A lot. And it really was an amazing video. It said, “You are capable of deciding your destiny. The question you face is; which path will you choose?” And I LOVED it! But I can’t find the exact one on youtube! There are several with the same words, but… ughh..
FOUND IT!
:Batman:
June 16, 2009
Can I make the gag video for Unnatural? Can I? Pleeeeaaase? If you haven’t already started it and done a whole lot with it? Because I want to mess with some video and make something funny. Can I do it? Pretty please???
:Batman:
June 16, 2009
YES. Dru and I went to see Wolverine forever ago. Here are the key points:
I love her.
This is my favorite vidblog. I like being a part of these. They’re fun.
DRU I MISS YOU. I feel like we’re apart.
:Batman:
June 15, 2009
The big, yellow school bus seemed to sigh with the weight of its charges as it let a tall, thick redhead out onto the hot, dusty dirt road. She eyed the modest white house, wearily calculating the time it would take for her to walk to the front door and explain to her mother where she was going. As she started the long, uphill walk she heard the low rumble of her best friend’s motorcycle and stopped, turning with a smile toward the fast-approaching dust cloud. She cast a glance over her shoulder, knowing she would suffer an hour’s lecture for her “irresponsibility” and ran to her escape.
He slowed as he got closer, but never stopped. She held our her arm as he reached her and he pulled her up behind him, skidding off as soon as she was secure.
“You’re getting better at that,” she commented, wrapping her arms comfortably around his waist.
“Well, yeah, how long have we been practicing that?” he said over his shoulder. “I got tired of your mom having enough time to run out and scream at me.”
Jessica laughed and laid her head on his back, enjoying the ride. Ian was such a good friend. Who else would be willing to endure a wrath such as her mother’s just to hang our with her all the time?
“Where to today, starshine?”
Ian’s low laugh echoed from under his shiny black helmet harmonizing with the engine’s growl.
“How about the moon?”
Jessica pulled him closer, a slow smile spreading across her face. She could hear the mischievous note in his voice that she saw all too often in his kind green eyes. She nuzzled into his neck knowing she could use the dirt in the wind as an excuse as they blew up a dust cloud on the only road out of town.
The soft, slightly worn leather felt good against her cheek as she considered his question.
“How about somewhere we haven’t been before?” she said.
“Did you have anything in mind?” He turned his head so he could see her for a moment, that mischievous smile in place.
“Not really. Let’s just go somewhere different this time.”
He picked up speed and she clung to him.
“Thy wish is my command!”
She laughed at his old-fashioned quip. The things she loved most about Ian were his mostly-made-up vocabulary and his utter disregard for anyone else’s opinion of him. They had been friends for years – Jessica grew up watching him mow her lawn and do odd jobs for her mother during the afternoon and living for the warm evenings of early summer when he would take her fishing and teach her how to see the stars for what they really were: endless possibility.
“How fast are we going?” she asked, her voice raised over the engine’s hum.”
“About a bill.”
Her eyes grew wide. Wherever they were going, at a hundred miles an hour, they were sure going to get there quickly.
“We heading for Oklahoma?” Jessica asked, after they’d been riding for a while.
“Nah, we’ve been there before.” Ian said, flying around another corner. “Canada. I hear there’s good snowboarding there.”
“Ian Turney, you’ve never been snowboarding in your life and you know it.” Ian grimaced playfully.
“Come on, I’ve been skiing! You remember the band trip. How different can it be?”
Jessica snorted and couldn’t keep ahold of her laughter.
“Yeah, and after that, I’m surprised you want to even get on another mountain! How many people did you mow down?”
He sighed with resignation and shook his head. “Six.”
He turned his head and busted out like he always did at his best friend’s expression. “Okay, okay, we’re not going any place snowy! Geez, Jess.”
She patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry,” she said, “we’ll find somewhere to escape to.”
“Ooh,” he said, raising his eyebrows a couple of times.
“I like the escape plan.”
“You would! Sigmund Freud would be in heaven analyzing you and your ‘escapist tendencies.’”
“Yeah, yeah.” He took another, sharper turn, barely slowing his speed. Dirt from the county road flew up into Jess’ face as the back wheel fishtailed, Ian momentarily fighting for control.
“Whoa! I’m still back here!” Jessica called holding tighter to his waist.
“I know, I know. I just got a little excited. I know where we’re going!”
“Yeah, me too! The hospital if you keep driving like that!”
Ian laughed grinding his bike to a halt and walking it around the next corner.
“Better?”
She could hear the smirk in his voice as he kicked the engine back up and was eager to switch topics. She didn’t like it when he thought she was afraid.
“Whatever. Where are we going then?”
“Oh yeah!” He took a final corner at a reasonable pace and stopped to face an enormous abandoned-looking ranch house.
“Johnson Ranch.”
“Wait. Ian? Isn’t that the place where those kids…?”
Jessica’s grip around Ian’s waist tightened and little beads of sweat blossomed on the back of her neck. Ian shrugged and she could feel how incredibly relaxed he was beneath her arms.
“It’s broad daylight, Jess. Don’t worry.”
“Stop.”
Ian slowed down a little.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Ian, you need to stop this motorcycle so you can get the heck off of it and knock on some wood!”
Ian laughed and shook his head back and forth, resuming his original speed.
“Oh, okay. Gee, that’s so important! Oh, hey, that’s not a ‘No Trespassing’ sign, is it?”
Jessica squinted at the sign he was pointing at. It was almost fully covered by a tree limb.
“Uh…I can’t tell, Ian. Come on, I really don’t think we should go,” she said as they turned into the drive.
“Please, Jess?” he cooed. Ugh, that tone! Jessica grimaced. He could get away with murder with that tone.
“Why do you want to go up there so bad?” His back muscles tensed. “What?”
Jessica considered the possibilities. Either he was all of a sudden scared, or he was about to admit something. She wasn’t entirely sure which was more probable, as they passed a very gnarled, old tree. He cleared his throat.
“I think it will be an amazing spot for pictures,” he said in a normal tone.
However, a normal tone doesn’t cut it on a motorcycle.
“What?” she asked.
He sighed and looked up briefly.
“I want to do a photo shoot of you, okay? There are some really cool places up there.”
Jessica smiled. “Oh, my young photographer!” she teased, putting on a flattered voice. “Oh, I only have what I wore to school today, though.” she said, realizing her t-shirt and jeans weren’t going to look very spectacular in a photo shoot.
“Uh…” Ian’s ears turned red.
“What aren’t you telling me?” she asked, his ears giving away too much.
“I was already up there this morning. I have some clothes for you…”
“My clothes?”
He nodded.
“Ian, how’d you get my clothes?”
Ian coughed and scratched his neck.
“Well… Your window wasn’t exactly locked…”
“It wasn’t lock- Who are you? Edward Cullen?”
“Haha, very funny.” Ian kicked the stand down and cut the motorcycle engine. Jess slid off the back and turned to look at the landscape she knew so well. As a young child, before her father’s death, she had often picnicked here on Saturday afternoons, running around the wide yard, climbing the proud old magnolia that Ian hoped to photograph her under. It was because of those afternoons on the ranch that she had been so personally affected [emotionally involved in?] by the horrible deaths of those boys last summer. She shuddered away from thoughts of those poor, awful boys instead turning her attention to her friend. He stood at the small saddle bag facing her and pulled out her favorite white sun dress and a large heart-shaped necklace. She hadn’t worn that necklace since the day the Fox news crew had come out in their big white vans to take video of “the scene” and interview her and everyone else that had gone to school with the “tragic victims.” She sneered at the memory.
“I thought if you wore these and put your hair down… Well, you’ll look really beautiful, Jess.” His ears went pink again and held out the dress helplessly. She smiled, snagging the clothing and meandering toward the magnolia’s wide trunk to change.
“No peeking, dear.” She said with a wink.
Ian laughed, grabbed his camera and turned his back.
“I think the blossoms’ll be really striking against your hair. They’ll really bring the red to life.” He said, running his fingers along the lens cap.
Jessica laughed and tapped him on the shoulder.
“How do I look?” she twirled, her hair and skirt flying out.
Ian smiled and snapped a picture.
“Divine.”
Ian had her pose all around the tree, and even on a couple of the branches. When she was leaning toward the camera for a shot that was her idea, she started slipping off the low appendage of the tree. She squealed a little as her feet brushed the ground but slid back. Ian stepped forward and swiftly caught her around the middle, helping her balance. Jessica held onto him instinctively and looked up at him, shocked.
“Did you drop your camera?” she asked worriedly.
Ian laughed.
“You fall out of a tree and you’re worried about my camera? Haha, no, I’ve got it here.” He straghtened up and put her on her own feet. Holding up his Nikon which had been behind her back, he beamed.
“No damage done to my baby.” Jessica laughed.
“You better have gotten that picture.” Ian flipped the switch and reviewed the last picture he captured. Jessica sighed as she saw her image appear. It looked one hundred times more amazing than she thought was possible.
“You got it!” she breathed and touched the screen.
Ian smiled and looked at her, inches away from him. He soothed a strand of hair behind her ear.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. She blushed and shrugged away a little.
“I know, you tell me that all the time.”
Ian let his hand fall and scrolled through some pictures [as Jess pulled herself up onto a low branch, quickly overtaking her original place and gaining a seat in one of the high branches?].
“With good reason,” he muttered.
She watched as he turned away, heading vaguely for the bike, while still flipping through pictures. She pulled her legs up next to her and scooted towards the trunk of the tree. Leaning her back against the strong wood and stretching out she felt rather like the Cheshire Cat. Ian leaned against his bike now, still looking almost wistfully at her pictures. She smiled broadly.
“Hey, Alice!”
Ian’s head jerked up.
“Did you just call me Alice?”
She nodded.
Something in her smile made his stomach jump like it had four summers ago when Jessica had leaned close and kissed him throwing him off balance and sending him backwards down a flight of stairs. It was enticing but just a little frightening. Her eyes softened at his hesitation and she batted the branch she sat on.
“C’mon, Ian. I’m not gonna bite.” She giggled as his eyes grew wide and he set his camera on the saddle of the bike. He crossed the space between them in three long bounds and hauled himself up into the tree, straddling the branch to face her.
“Unless you want me to, that is.”
Ian’s eyes grew wider and Jess laughed wildly.
“What’s wrong? You don’t like being teased back?” She stuck her tongue out at him and slid her legs down around to hang in the breeze before patting the bark again, signaling for him to come closer on their suspended bench. He did so slowly.
“Whatever drug you took, could you please take it more often?” He said softly, just above a whisper. Jessica could see a shadow of his smile playing over his lips, but the mischievous light that usually shone in his eyes was replaced with something much deeper. His bright green eyes seemed to smolder and it took several moments for Jess to realize she was staring quite intently into them. She smiled, that heat catching at her mind and burning away her good sense.
Ian moved closer, covering her hand with his and touching her cheek softly.
“You are so beautiful.” He repeated.
This time she just smiled. She had made up her mind.
Quite suddenly he pushed his hand into her hair and pulled her forward, touching his lips to hers. The heat inside her burst into flames as reason and conscience burned away and she thought only of him and this day.
“What a wonderful day to die” she thought absently before getting lost in the fresh, hot wave of his passion.
Finally letting loose of himself completely, Ian crushed Jessica against him and kissed her more fiercely, biting her lip and twirling his tongue into her mouth. Jessica responded well and he gained confidence rapidly. He put his hand on her hip and was rewarded with a little moan that reverberated from her throat to his.
Long minutes passed of the two just kissing on the branch, totally wrapped up in each other, forgetting everything and everyone, completely lost.
“You’re a great kisser,” Jessica commented as they broke apart briefly to catch their breath. “I should have kissed you sooner.”
“I kissed you once, remember?” Ian said, a little indignant.
“Well, here we are now,” she said, and pulled him toward her again, eager to taste his kisses again.
After awhile, Ian started to build a little confidence. One of his hands slowly made its way from her knee under her skirt, and to the middle of her thigh. She put a hand on his to stop him, but he noticed that she was hesitant and not very forceful. He decided to press his luck and for it; if she stopped him again, he wouldn’t go any farther. He started inching under her dress again, and was thoroughly startled when she very aggressively threw his hand off of her leg, wrenched out of their kiss, and pushed him out of the tree. On the ground and gasping for breath, Ian looked up bewildered as she gracefully landed next to him on her feet.
“Sorry hon,” she said, “but you’re not ‘great’ enough for that!”
Ian tried to speak – to tell her that he was sorry and that he didn’t mean to upset her – but was silenced by Jessica bringing her heel down hard on his ribs. He gasped and curled protectively, remembering only too well teh afternoon when he had confessed to his best friend that he had been in a fight that weekend and broken two ribs. She had been concerned, afraid of holding him too tight.
She pushed him onto his back with her foot and let her weight fall hard on his chest.
“I told you that something bad would happen if we came up here. But then, you’re too good to knock on wood, aren’t you?” Jess fingered her heard necklace, slipping the chain over her head.
“Please, Jess, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t going to go any further though, I swear! I just wanted to touch yo-” he was cut off by her swift slap.
“Shut up! Oh my gosh, grovelling is SO unattractive.”
He tried to move and was rewarded with another, harder slap and a hot wave of pain in his side.
“Jess, chill. I think you refractured my rib.”
Jessica cocked her head to the side, affecting a small, worried pout. She stood up easily and moved a little way back, the heart necklace still hanging from her hand.
Ian shifted gingerly, trying to prevent as much pain as possible as he moved to stand.
“I’ve never seen you freak out like that. If I’d known that you would throw me out of a tree for not knocking on wood, I would’ve done it. I’ll definitely do it next time.”
She laughed as he rolled onto all fours, ready to stand up.
“No you won’t” she said simply and took a running step forward sinking her calf into his side with as much force as she could manage. Ian cried out and collapsed again. Jess brought her clasped hands down hard on the back of his head, the tip of her heart pendant coming away with a tinge of pink.
“Jessica! What’re you trying to do? Kill me?”
Jess started to laugh and Ian’s blood ran cold. Her laugh was high and cold and he had heard it before.
When they were both still in middle school Ian had found her behind one of her mother’s trees holding a baby rabbit. It was bloody and shivering and he stood quietly watching her dab at its wounds unnoticed and hidden behind the hedges that lined the garden.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Peter” she had said soothing the trembling animal’s ears back “it’s a beautiful day to die.” She had laughed that same terrifying laugh as she closed her hands around the animals neck. It had scratched at her hands, desperately trying to get free.
“Bad Peter!” she had shouted in that same horrible little-girl voice, standing up still holding the bunny.
“Here comes Peter Cotton-Tail” she sang as she beat the rabbit’s head against the trunk of the tree until the poor animal stopped moving. She had dropped it then, laughing and laughing. When Ian asked her about the scratches on her hands that night, she said she’d fallen into some thorns.
He felt his head connect with the ground as she kicked him again.
“Don’t worry, Ian” she said sweetly, “It’s a beautiful day to die.”
Ian coughed and spit. A string of bloody saliva connected his lip to the ground.
“Stop, Jess,” he coughed, and tried to look up at her, but coughed again. “Please.”
“Why should I, Ian? After everything you’ve done to me?” she half-screamed, and fell onto him, her elbow jamming into his back. Ian cried out in immense pain, having felt two of his discs create a little space between each other. Then he whipped his leg out, pushing her legs out from under her. She hit the ground with a little “oof” and Ian took advantage of her being on the ground. He laid his arm across her neck and pushed down, cutting off her air supply, She gasped and scratched at his perfectly brown forearm.
“Listen to me,” he growled, and took his arm away from her throat briefly to hit the side of her shoulder with a lot of force. After all, he wasn’t on the basketball team for nothing. He returned to restraining her breathing.
“I have never…Never done anything to you!” he hissed and pushed a little harder. “I’ve actually done everything I possibly could for you. I helped you out when your dad died, I helped you pass physics, I help you get away from your mom every day…Jessica, I’m your best friend! And you know what? Now that I think about it…” Suddenly having the strength to sit up, he pulled himself into a position where he could lean over her. “I’m your ONLY friend!” Ian took his arm off of her airway just in time for her to not lose consciousness. No sooner had he moved his hands away then had she reached up and jammed the heart into the side of his neck making a small, but significant, gash.
“That’s right,” she muttered, trying to get her breath under control. “Fight back! It will make everything so much more convincing.”
Ian froze, his hands grasping at his new wound.
“What do you mean?”
Jessica laughed that awful, chilly laugh again as she got onto her knees.
“This time,” she sneered, “I won’t have to give myself cuts and scratches.”
“You mean you…”
“Yes!” she said, eyes ablaze. “I killed Guy and Ron. You know what though? They were a very sloppy kill. This time I’ll be better.”
[ Cinq, le parte de morte!!!! Well, right before le morte anyways. ]
xxdruxx :Batman:
June 15, 2009
Druuuuuu we have to update Ian and Jessica! I would do it but I’m missing one of my seeds. 
I have the last two, but I don’t have the one before that. ¡Ayudame, por favor!
:Batman:
June 13, 2009
DRU we have to start a blog of phrases we steal from each other.
And I can’t seem to figure out how to spell the first word of my title today! Is it one L or two??
Edit this and add your own, chica.
It’s spelt right, m’dear.
:Batman: xxdruxx
June 13, 2009
I need to blog! There are so many things on my mind. But alas, I have to go take a shower and go apply for some jobs. I’ve filled out enough online applications to make my fingers bleed and I can’t think of any more!
:Batman:
May 31, 2009
Whoa!! Didn’t even know this existed.
http://www.gryffindorgazette.com/2008/06/11/the-harry-potter-prequel-read-it-here/
:Batman:
May 30, 2009
You’ve been coming up a lot in the past couple of weeks. You just keep popping up! That pen you gave me. Your pictures. Easter. I never realized how all over the place you were in my head.
Did you know I had to tell Melanie when you died? She called the house and I had to tell her why she couldn’t talk to Mom. Because Mom was on the phone with your Momma.
Then last week I had to tell one of your EFY buddies. She asked about you… I was so casual about it. Then I got in the car and the shock on Margaret’s face hit me. How the heck did I just brush you off like that? Like sand on my beach towel..
You told me not to get involved with boys, lol. So did Courtney. I didn’t listen to either one of you. We’re related, alright…
I miss you, hon. I’ve only been out to Gilmer once since, and that was for your funeral. It was so weird, seeing you like that. You weren’t smiling, Sarah. You know, the last time I saw you when you didn’t smile was at Papa’s funeral. I didn’t like it. Loved your outfit though, girlie. Very stylish. Purple zebra print, gold peace necklace, jeans… SO Sarah.
You were writing a book? Why didn’t you tell me? Aren’t YOU the one that told me to showcase my work? You were the one who encouraged me to write in the first place. You were the one who told me my story idea wasn’t stupid. Your mom’s never going to do anything with it… I wish I could’ve read it.
You always made us laugh. You were the girl I always wanted to be. When we were little, you were the cool sporty girl. You could pull off a frilly shirt with basketball shorts. Then you grew into a beautiful woman. Soooo stylish and amazing in everything… I always wanted to be like you. But you didn’t know that, did you?
I’m sorry you didn’t make drum major. You should have! You were amazing.
Brandon hasn’t smiled yet. I mean, he smiles. His eyes smile, too, but it’s not a truly amused smile. I was talking to Darla. He needed you, Sarah. Your mom needed you.
I’m sorry that you never got to come over and spend the night. We were always going to… Every year, “Maybe next year.” And then when you were in Denton! Ughh! I could SHOOT myself for that! I really could. I’m sorry, Sarah. And I didn’t come out there for Christmas. You CALLED me and ASKED me to, but no, I had to tell you I had SOCCER PRACTICE. I’m such an idiot. I quit soccer right after your funeral…
You inspired me to always be happy. You were so much like Papa in that way…
Sarah, I miss you so, so, so much. I love you. And I’m really sorry… for everything. I’m sorry I can’t make Brandon laugh anymore. I’m sorry I didn’t come. I’m sorry…
((Dru, I know I copied you, but not intentionally. It was just overwhelming. I had to write to her.))
Thanks to taintedempress for the help on setting up this feed.
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