Will you Marry her?

I will.

I realized today that I say ‘I do’ a lot.

Loves that you blog more now that you can’t tweet. But like you I have a phone problem.. Rawr. I was washing some dirt out from between the keys -VERY CAREFULLY-  like I have done many times before. And now the keys are acting all weird. -wines- My phooone. I turned it off and have it open in hopes it will dry out or whatever is wrong with it. I think I might cry…

I haven’t slept well these past few days then I have been sleeping in. Been up thinking which can’t be very good.

Alls well that ends well.

Lets hope it ends well..

~*Chi*~

 

Post Quickie

Not quite how it sounds. =x

This is going to be a fast typed and hoped nothing is misspelled post!

I have to go get ready to leave soon for my bro’s swim team. Waiting for you. Oh and today and yesterday was really long and kinda dull. Oooh but last night was filled with a excitment I can’t share. I couldn’t sleep last night my brain wouldn’t let me. I was up till past midnight letting my mind wander to thoughts maybe it shouldn’t then back to the safer ones. All that made me smile.

I’m kind of stressing over this.. stupid boi. I really hate the way you are, but I don’t want you to change. I can’t really let go of this.. I know Dru knows this but I really wanna let him go yet I can’t do that. Help Him…

After Quickie.

Love ya,

~*Chi*~

 

Jackets are nice

I love mine.

Since he stopped messaging me, I shall blog.

Cotillion was really great. They did a thanksgiving dinner not that I could really eat any of it. Ah well it was awesome. I got to dance as a guy this time because the guys refuse to dance with each other and the girls don’t mind dancing together. I did love being the guy, twirling the girls.  Heh..  The last girl I danced with was the cutest thing. She kept laughing when one of us messed up and I couldn’t help but laugh with her. We did passing, twirling, and wraps. We talked a lot she made me smile. I got to escort her for a little bit too. Really enjoyed Cotillion Friday. I got to see Paul which of course was the best part of the night… along with the girl. ♥  Sorry Paul.

James and Heather took me.  Well their mom drove. I’m thankful for knowing them. They are great people. I might probably go to Akon with Heather and do a girls only thing. Sorta. MONEY. Stupid lack of.   James is amazingly awesome. Their little brothers are really hyper and talkative, but cute.

♥,

~*Chi*~

 

Needs this..

This is a good outlet.. Then I remember other people read this  and i’m like wait…. Am I okay with other people reading this, is this appropriate? And that is when I remember I don’t care.  Who cares if you think less of me or not at all. I don’t.. It is your choice to read.  This is my outlet. This is my life.

“Don’t ever regret anything because it was once exactly what you wanted.”

I have to say I mostly agree with this.

I stopped talking to him because it is what I wanted.. sort of.  I reached out to him even after what he did because I wanted to. I still would give my life for him because I still want to. I want to regret this but I can’t.. It was once what I wanted so why regret it?

I think my pain in the neck ex has finally stopped texting me!

Some times I wonder if you really think about what you say.. or about what you think.  I want to believe it with all my heart and I do, but then I want to pull back into myself. Past events shouldn’t effect me and you. but they do. I put them behind me the best I can but I still remember and don’t know what to do. Can I push past this? More importantly, Should I? Is my heart right with what it wants or do I listen to my head this time?

If you do read this, feel free to ask me questions. I atleast hope you enjoy reading it.

Amin Mela Lle, Paul. <3

~*Chi*~

 

We made it this far…

There are some things that you just can’t say. Thank you for texts and computers. With them we can tell people things that we would never say in person and then because of that we miss out on a lot. I think computers and phones make us lame. Say it straight to my face. Stop hiding behind electronics.

Halloween was amazing! I saw 4 of my babies, two favorite cousins, Paul, my grandparents, my mom, and brother! I’m so not use to carrying babies all night. They were sooo cute though. I was a cat for Halloween.

I miss him.

I saw him for his birthday!! Yes. Oh and I took my grandma out for lunch since it was her birthday to on Monday.

Study Study Study School School School School School School Study Study Paul Paul Friends Friends Paul Friends School School School Study.  There is my life. Haha.  Thanksgiving is coming up!!

~*Chi*~

 

I want circles not squares.

Sometimes I miss this.

I read his blog today since I haven’t in Forever and I couldn’t stop smiling the whole time I was reading it. He is a really great writer. Highlight of my day.

Lets update you!

Guys suck. Except these few Amazing ones I know. Paul, Andrew/Sherlock. Just to name my two favorites. So I’m dating Paul and loving it. Almost three months now. I got my senior pictures taken, They look good. College will be in Missouri next fall if I get accepted. And if I get higher than a 26 on my ACT score I could get a full scholarship covering room and board too. I know I’m cramming this all together. Sorrie. It’s been rainy and cold. Paul’s birthday is Monday. He will be old. <3 Dru should send him a blog link or something.. Maybe he'd blog?? Or yeeeah I know what you think about that. and understand that. But the blog could always use more readers right? ^_^

So I'm blogging for you my dear. I hope this lifts your spirits some.

Sometimes things don't make sense.. I offered and he kinda.. whats the word.. anyway I got shot down with that. Kinda knew I would though so it's no big deal. Halloween is here. I'm going to be a black cat or fox haven't decided yet. I like how life is now.. usually. I'm excited about college and moving to Missouri. Majoring in art with an emphasis on graphic design and going to take some psychology classes.

I miss my Paul. <3 but I get to see him soon.

~*Chi*~

 

Playing Life

I heard you play today!! Ah! It totally made me happy. Though it wasn’t in person or just for me, I loved it. Which makes me sad to think I’ll never hear it in person. I think I shall want to stalk you when you leave. <3

Was asked to go see a concert. I didn’t have a ride though and he told me he would try and see if one of his friends lived near enough to take me if they were going. Isn’t that nice?    My mom likes the idea of me knowing a guy that is a year-ish older than me. I really wanted to go to the concert though..             But he might come to the movies with us.

 

A post for us

You make my life amazing. I can’t believe you said that. I love you and your random-ness. Though I’d never tell you that I loved you more than a friend. I’m not sure if I do. I ‘feel’ you though I really do and it is AMAZING. Come closer I don’t think I heard you right…

Tuesdays Rock! I love writing class and the three teens I do it with.

They are funny and great people! I’m graduating with the two boys too!

 

This Needed Its Own Post

Be warned major excitement in this post….

BRANDON GETS TO GO TO THE STATE SWIM MEET!!

I GET TO WATCH HIM AND JAMES SWIM MAJOR!

THIS WILL ROCK! <3

*~Chi~*

 

Changed my mind

I’ll write about you only because I hate this.

I actually texted him today,  just to say how excited I was about something important and what do I get?  Ugh…

How hard is it to realize all I want is for you to say “Yeah I lied and I’m sorrie!” Be a man and admit it.        Is it Really that hard to realize and say?  I feel your so caught up in your own world and how it is all about you, that you don’t notice, see or care about how the rest of us feel.  Is it easy to blow me off like that?

—-Lets mark the dividing points for each person———–

So you said you would tell me how your work schedule turned out so we could talk more, What happened to that???  I called a few times and you either ignored me or said I’m to busy for you. We have never been to ‘busy’ for each other all the time.   You don’t have one or two minutes in your life to spare to call a girl you love loved?

I want how it was between us back.. somethings keeping you away..

You started this only when I asked you to move… I guess just to prove a point? or do you have a more real reason? I’m curious about you.

——I have alot to say about them today———–

I MISS HIM!!  You stopped texting me when you promised you wouldn’t do ‘that’ anymore. I really think it’s because you didn’t really stop.

You asked me once “If he does ‘it’ and you like him, then why when I do ‘it’ do you hate it?”       Can’t you see why? I told you why too.. Look deeper, For Me.

————-Sorry I was thinking alot today—————–

————–On A Most Important Note——————-

I have this boi… who is moving in a few months =(((                      It stinks!!

I’ll miss you loads and hang out with you soon. And maybe get you a nice pretty gift like  you gave me. That way you can remember me when you are gone away.

I love when you correct my spelling. <3   It makes me smile.

P.S. BRANDON GETS TO GO TO THE STATE SWIM MEET!! I GET TO WATCH HIM AND JAMES SWIM MAJOR! THIS WILL ROCK! <3

*~Chi~*