Dru really likes me to post my dreams. Well, I can sort of see that, because they can be quite interesting… This one’s kind of morbid though. I didn’t wake up sweaty or anything, just pensive.
Oh, Dru-I can’t scan the note. I really want to, but my scanner’s not working. I’m going to have to do it in Yearbook or something.
*Ahem* Okay, here I go…
My Werewolf and I produce a child, though we aren’t married. I don’t see us produce it or anything, I just suddenly have a little girl in my arms and I instinctively know who the father is. All I know about her is that she needs some lovin, so I hug her and hug her and don’t let her go. People keep telling me, “You need to do something about her, Krista, she’s not normal.” I rebuke them and cover the ears of my child, who won’t let go of me, buries her face in my shoulder, and cries. I hug her for a long, long time. My Werewolf shows up and looks at her sadly. “I’m sorry,” he says, and a tear drips down his face. I look at him questioningly, and he said, “It’s my fault,” and then he disappears. Then I know she was born yesterday. No one tells me, I just know all of a sudden. She was born yesterday, yet here she is in my arms as a small child, about the age of 6 or so. Then someone pulls me away from her and I’m in a gym. They tell me I’m the representative for a team and I have to compete. My opponent is Dru. We’re playing that connect-the-dots-and-make-boxes game, and she beats me terribly, by like 40 boxes. Michael, Aquaman, and Cameron are cheering her on and celebrating. Then we do pushups. I do 2 and she does 50. Again, the boys are all fawning all over her. I look at my team and say, “Why did you want to choose me, anyway? Why did you choose girls, why not one of your own?” They’re all boys and they shake their heads, disappointed. I’m really sad and start to sink into a cloud of darkness. Tendrils come out of the shadows and envelope me, taking me to goodness knows where. Then I come out in my driveway, but it’s several years in the future. My house and the neighborhood, everything is old, old, old, falling apart, cloudy. Fuzzy. My daughter walks out from the space between my house and the one next door. It’s Allie, my next-door-neighbor. But she’s my daughter. I reach my arms out to her and she runs and hugs me like she used to. She’s really tall, like in real life, and for a moment I catch a glimpse of Jacob (yes, I’m using his name, Jacob=MyWerewolf) standing behind her, but when I try to talk to him, he disappears. “Mom,” Allie says, and pulls back. “My bus is almost here.” “Where are you going?” I ask, and start crying. “I have to go somewhere I’ll be accepted, Momma.” Then she steps back and disappears. Arms wrap around me from behind. “I’m sorry,” Jacob whispers in my ear, and kisses the top of my head. “What did we do, Jacob? Why was she different?” I ask softly, staring at the spot she disappeared from. “I’m sorry,” he says again, and then leaves me, disappearing behind me so that when I turn, nothing is there but the old, cracked sidewalk and dead bushes. I turn around and jump. Dru’s standing in front of me, her arms crossed. She’s wearing a black jumper with jeans underneath, barefoot like always. Her face is really pale and hollow-looking. I wonder if she’s supposed to be dead, but her make-up is so perfect. She stares at me, her chest not rising with breath. Her red hair falls around her, curling at the ends and perfectly shiny, absolutely perfect. She’s so beautiful, but she won’t smile. The shadows pull around me again, and the Allie-now the little girl she was at first-holds my hand and hides behind my leg. “You can’t keep her forever,” Dru says suddenly. It’s in her usualy voice, but very soft. Even as it’s soft, though, it rings in my ears as if she’d screamed at me. “She’s like you.” I look down at the little girl and I see that she has my eyes. I look back at Dru and say, “But Jacob said it was his fault.” I don’t understand what she’s telling me. “No, Krista,” she says, and steps forward. In a flash she’s right in front me, when before she had been at least fifteen feet away. She puts her hand on her arm. She breaths now, and she has a look on her face that’s pleading me to listen to her. She’s concerned about me. “He only thinks it’s his fault. Because he didn’t stop you.” She looks at the child. I look around us at all the dead thinks. “Dru, what happened?” I whisper. She looks back at me, and her eyes have turned green. When I see them, I see visions of myself in my most miserable moments, in the moments of grief, pain, regret. Every time one pops up, the area around me starts to crack and die. I blink a couple of times and Dru’s eyes are brown again. I look down at my daughter and she climbs up into my arms. “Mommy,” she whimpers, and I see tendrils of shadow emerge from around her and make everything around us even more pitiful. “I don’t want to be sad anymore.” I look back at Dru. “Krista, you have to make some changes.” Aquaman walks out from behind a tree. “No, you don’t have to do anything.” He stands next to Dru. She doesn’t pay any attention to him, but he sneers at her. She’s wearing a green velvet dress now, much like one she had in real life. Aquaman wears a black shirt and jeans. He glares at me. “Don’t let her rule your life,” he snarls, and puts his hands in his pockets. “Why, what do you have to offer me?” I ask. “Nothing,” he scoffs. “But I’ll kiss you. And I’m good at it. I’ll use you and dump you as soon as Afton comes around the corner. You know you want me.” I look from him to Dru. She’s staring at him now, a hurt look on her face. “How could you?” she whispers, and steps away from him. I look at the child in my arms. She’s dead. I lay her on the ground and look from her to Aquaman. I start falling back into shadows, the tendrils coming out and wrapping around me. “No!” Dru yells. She runs to me, but I’m falling away. Aquaman laughs. Dru yells again. “No, come back! I care about you! You matter to me, and to Jacob!” Jacob. I call his name, but he doesn’t answer. I keep falling. Why doesn’t he catch me? He’s supposed to catch me. Why can’t anyone try to catch me? I feel a pair of arms try, but no matter how hard she tries to hold on to me, Dru’s not strong enough. I fall and fall and fall. “I told you,” Aquaman laughs, and turns away, leaving me. I open my eyes and hold my child again. She leans back and smiles. We’re in a pink, fluffy room. There are two of them, exactly alike. “Bye, Mom,” Allie says, and morphs into her teenage self. “Thanks,” she smiles, and walks out the door. “I’m changing,” my other daughter says. I know she no longer has the power to kill things. Like the other child, her hair is black and cropped at her shoulders. Her eyes are silver, though. “Leah?” I ask. She smiles and nods. “I’m back,” she whispers, and I look up to see Dru sitting in the corner in a white and green dress that belongs to the Irish Princess wearing it. Her hair is intwined with silver leaves and threads. “See,” she says, smiling. “You’ll be happy. I promise.”
And then I opened my eyes to see my room, as if I only woke up because that was the deliberate end of the dream.
BIZARRE, no?
I think it’s telling me I do need to make some changes. Get rid of some thoughts and desires, control others, and generally make my life better. Be optimistic. Ask for forgiveness…
Aquaman and Dru you know about.
Michael and Cameron are kids from church.
Allie is my next-door-neighbor. She’s 15 and she’s pretty cool. Lives with her two sisters.
Leah is my fictional character that I always write about. She’s quite special to me. I think the child was Allie half the time and Leah the other half of the time.
Jacob/My Werewolf is my boyfriend. I don’t know what this dream says about him. That he cares about me? That he doesn’t?
I think it also tells me Dru’s a real friend and I should listen to her more often.
…Or was it just a dream, a random product of my imagination that doesn’t mean anything besides the fact that I’m creative?
Just so you know, I have a whole heck of a lot of weird, funky dreams.
No picture of the day, I’ve already taken up a lot of room as it is, and I have more to say later…
:Batman:
