Headaches

So I found an Algebra equation that shows 1=0… Ican prove it wrong, but I want to prove it right.. It made my head hurt, so I returned to an old Haunt on the web that I used to go to. There I found riddles. Can any of you whom comment figure out this nasty one? I must determine a prize for whoever gets it though, haha! In any case, this one is for fun.

A mystery,a troubling thing.
Destruction of everything.
Here I fight
Not alone,but spread out.

 

-P^K^K-

 

wth

Why did I bring the big box* of death if I totally wasn’t going to use it?

I guess I used it briefly.

And I did add like 800 words in the course of today.

Which is probably less than useful considering I need to finish up the project I’m working on at home now. And I don’t know why I’d be able to do it faster at home. It’s ten pages of editing…

My life’s getting out of hand. Robyn said I was a good business investment, but I sometimes can’t help thinking I’m not cut out for this grown-up lifestyle. I’ve definitely gotten really bad at managing my finances. For example: I spent $60 today on something I just don’t have the money for.

I bought ( hopefully reputable ) ticket savings things for Dallas Stars games. I got three free tickets and buy one get one type things. I’m gonna offer my mom the buy one get one.

And I think I’m going to have to ask for the $50 she promised me. I don’t know. *sigh*

Basically, halloween involved a huge fight between her and I which ended with her revoking the gift she’d given me ( because I told her I didn’t really like it because it was NOT what she’d promised me and it wasn’t really anything that I cared about ) and telling me she was just going to give me $50 instead. Well…I’m dead broke and I’m supposed to be going to a NOWD ( Night of Writing Dangerously ) thing for NaNo and I’m supposed to be going to see Imogen Heap ( which I’m defs gonna have to cancel. I have no money ) and I’m supposed to be going to see Eisley ( which I most certainly do NOT want to cancel ) and…I’m broke.

Why did I buy that? That makes $100 straight out of my last check that I wasted. You see, having money like this is really bad for me.

So.

I’m going to start putting money in a “savings account.” But only a hypothetical account, because you have to have $500 or more to have a savings account now or you get like two hundred dollars in fines every month. >.<

I'm going to start plan where I write down how much i've "put in savings" and that money is going to be inaccessible to me. That way, maybe I'll stop dropping literally hundreds of dollars on fast food and entertainment that I really can't afford.

I don't even have a car! What the heck is that?!

The downside to all this is that my life is about to get a heck of a lot more boring. And I'm probably not going to eat very much anymore considering there's never anything at the commune to eat and my house is woefully understocked of anything even remotely edible by me ( other than tomato soup. Go tomato soup. ) which means starvation if I'm not buying food.

Oh! I just remembered we have rice and soy sauce. So…I'm making myself egg fried rice on a regular basis now.

And I'm supposed to be cleaning out the fridges.

And my room.

All this weekend.

So much for ever seeing Guppie ever again.

And I got stood up again.

And i can't move out because of financial restrictions but I really don't want to live at home anymore.

dru is not in a good mood.

Can you tell?

Maybe when I get a car I won't feel so trapped.

But I can't get a car if I keep THROWING MY FUCKING MONEY AWAY!

grr.

xxdruxx

*Guppie’s Computer Case. It’s huge and looks like it could very easily contain a bomb.

 

Paul’s day….

I am doing math, Algeblah is possessing me. Alas, I must complete it anyways. Tonight i’m going to see my friends, and I get to see Stephanie! YAYZ! For those who don’t know, Stephanie is my girlfriend. I love being random, and often say pointless things, but tonight i have to be polite, use proper grammer, and manners. This could be painful =)..  In any case, my day has been fairly boring, and I am returning to my demonic algeblah.

Amin Mela Lle, Stephanie <3

~Paul

 

We made it this far…

There are some things that you just can’t say. Thank you for texts and computers. With them we can tell people things that we would never say in person and then because of that we miss out on a lot. I think computers and phones make us lame. Say it straight to my face. Stop hiding behind electronics.

Halloween was amazing! I saw 4 of my babies, two favorite cousins, Paul, my grandparents, my mom, and brother! I’m so not use to carrying babies all night. They were sooo cute though. I was a cat for Halloween.

I miss him.

I saw him for his birthday!! Yes. Oh and I took my grandma out for lunch since it was her birthday to on Monday.

Study Study Study School School School School School School Study Study Paul Paul Friends Friends Paul Friends School School School Study.  There is my life. Haha.  Thanksgiving is coming up!!

~*Chi*~

 

Couches

Good morning bloggers

It’s very nearly time to get up and face the day. And how I wish I didn’t have to.

I slept on the floor last night because the couch isn’t comfortable for two. And because I couldn’t not sleep in his arms.

But, how I love couches. Everything was perfect – we decided to watch Van Helsing – which, btw, is the highest budget B-movie I’ve ever seen in my life – and we were curled up together on the couch being happy.

Then something shifted and I started playin the games I used to play with dan. The mind games where, for some reason, I get this huge, huge pleasure out of hurting him mentally. And I just kept pushing until we both ended up hurting lotses. I sometimes wish Dan could share some of the secrets of survival with the people I’m with. Then I realize how insensitive that would be and how he would never ever do that because he still wants me to come home.

Guppie pointed out that, theoretically I could call Dan at nearly any point and beg and be with him until the day I died. I don’t know if that would work, in practice, but it certainly makes Gup nervous. :/

It just makes me sad. I don’t want him to hurt for me anymore. I want us to be happy friends and hang out and be wonderful together. But – as Dan has rightly pointed out in the past – we’ll never be just friends. There’s just too much past and too much love for that.

So… Couches are wonderful places. You can blog on iPhones from them. You can kiss your lover on them. You can nearly break your own heart on them. You can rest you feet when they sting from running barefoot down the cold wet road in front of your house at 1am.

You can build real love – that doesn’t just go skin deep – and overcome ( or try to overcome, at least ) your fear of loss of interest and rejection and abandonment and make something real. And for that opportunity, at this moment in history, with the man that’s sleeping next to me, I thank you.

I thank you, Dan, Kevin, Jon…

Thank you for letting me go. Even of you didn’t want to. Even if you didn’t mean to. Even if I didn’t want you to.

I love you, Dan. You’re the only thing I don’t regret.

xxdruxx

 

Weekend

The weekend is upon us and it’s time to reveal what my plans are…

Well, no. It’s not. I’ll do that later =D

But I will tell you that I remembered what it is that I had scheduled tonight. Rocky Horror shadow cast = playing at Movie Tavern. I was gonna go see it. But, whatever.

I’ve also been invited by two separate people to do two separate things tonight AND invited Guppie out at like midnight ( even though I have to be awake at 7 ) when I knew fine well that I wouldn’t be sleeping since I’m helping JD get ready for a dance tonight. So…I’m stupid. lol =) I enjoy being a little social bug way too much and therefore way overstretch myself.

And I fell asleep at work today. Not for very long ( like 6 minutes ) and it was more of a doze than an actual nap. But, still….

I’m going to Blake’s though. I know that. I think it’s funny how the one thing that got the most votes on the poll ( Sleep ) is probably what’s going to happen the least this weekend. Oh wellz =D

xxdruxx

xxdruxx

[ haha, I typed it twice then decided to leave it. XD! ]

[ ps and and and, I have band practice 11 - 1 on sunday. When the crap am i going to A) See the garage [ maybe tomorrow afternoon? I know that some of my guys are all about the costumes and make up. Maybe someone will help me look amazingly awesome for the party ] B) Sleep?! [ We all know that Guppie + Dru = The Opposite of Sleep. Seriously. We counted FREAKING SPAGHETTI O'S to avoid sleeping. Wtf. ] But it’s okay. I’m glad I’m gonna be with the band again. And sunday I’m just going to insist on bed time around 6.30 or 7.

[ it's four-forty-two. 4.42. This blog was brought to you by awesome. xx ] ]

 

Double booking

This weekend.

Ohhh emgee.

Saturday = 7am Church Cleaning ( yeah, I signed up. So what? )
8.55pm Bday Party for friend Amanda ( of the Easter Bunny )
9.00pm Bday Party with friend Blake ( of the computer programming and my short-lived obsession. ) [ not even sure about this. The invite was totally random and slightly reeked of "invite all of your friends on fb in the area" ]

Which is only slightly death inducing. Thing is…I want to hang out with the Garage. Which means…I’d have to ditch at least the last two items. Well…maybe not Amanda’s party because it gets over at like 11 or something which means I could go out to Haltom afterwards. But the other one goes until 3am and definitely = no Garage.

Plus Friday night is pretty much a no-go because staying up till 4 then going to clean the church reeking of cigarette smoke is probably not the most constructive way to live a life.

So…Blogosphere ( if you’re out there, listening ) please enlighten me. What should I do? Vote below to decide my weekend. You can leave a comment below if you have other ideas/suggestions/quantifications of your choice.

I miss the bag piper in San Antonio. He was so cool.

xxdruxx

( No Garage Cat on this one because there are not actual descriptions of adventures in the Garage. So…tag instead. )

 

Lunch Is Bueno

I – just now – decided that the one word title kick thing I’ve been on is stupid. As such, I’m going to resume my normal “I make really random titles!” form. =D

Lunch = Cheese Nachos from Taco Bueno. So yummy. Only problem is that they’re from the store on University meaning the salsa ( which is made fresh in store every night ) is nowhere near as good as the salsa from the Bueno on Ft Worth Drive.

And some of the chips were undercooked meaning they tasted stale.

But, whatever. For $2.05 it was a ridiculously small and overpriced. But let’s assume the price was smaller. For $1.54 it was delicious and totally yums.

Random news item of the day: I miss Guppie. =( And Andrew unsubscribed. I’m pretty sure that he thinks I don’t want to talk to him since I rarely reply to his txts. But he usually txts me either when I’m busy or asleep ( the other morning, for example, he txted me at like 3.48 or some such nonsense at which point I was simultaneously busy AND asleep. ) and then I forget to txt him back. Because I have a stellar memory like that. Ask Drew [ Taco Bueno Drew, not Andrew ]. I totally promised to call him back last night then fell asleep completely forgetting to call him. :/

Point is, I don’t like it when my friends think I hate their guts because I forget to txt them back. And he unsubscribed from the blog ( after sending me Goodbyes by txt and twitter. ) so…I’m worried. Andrew and I have been friends for years and have known each other for years and years before that.

So…yeah. I called him and left him 2 msgs. So if he replies, I’ll make a point to drop what I’m doing to reply to him. If he doesn’t…I guess he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.

Sad days.

And I still miss Guppie.

xxdruxx

 

Cat *meow*

I don’t know.

That’s the answer to Kevin’s question.

Why. Why didn’t I have a cat called “The Garage”

xxdruxx

 

Garage

I keep thinking about the other night ( Sunday, to be precise ) when i felt so horribly put out.

Like…put out of the garage. I felt like i had melted down to just an attached and nothing more. But I was okay with it – for one reason: I want to be in the garage. And if I have to be there as someone’s briefcase, then it’s better than not being there at all.

But happy news. When I was sleeping, I was defended. Apparently, anyways. After all, I was asleep.

I fell asleep during a game of DnD under a Velociraptor’s blanket on the couch. And, according to the M Poisson, I was referred to as “Guppie’s Girlfriend” to which the Grapefruit Knight returned:

While she may be Guppie’s girlfriend, she has a name.

[ Apparently Scott chimed in with 'Yeah, it's Druzilla ' And there's a sound byte of Godzilla rawring that's supposed to be just for me. *fume* I've never been more annoyed/endeared by an offshoot nickname. *fizzle* ]

So…yeah. I feel much less ostrazised. I think some of it may have been from the utter ice that seemed to roll off a certian Dickey. And with the Dead King’s woman saying that she and he talk and she’s heard all about everything…. I really don’t know. That sort of got on my nerves. She says it’s like there’s been a lot of gripe thrown around about me behind my back. And maybe there has. Most likely it’s him, not me. I’m dru. I’m fairly low deathing-on-people, most of the time.

But it’s good to know that I haven’t lost the first friends that have accepted me as all of me since England, at any rate.

My class ring is really pretty =)

I can’t wait for the weekend – I want to watch them play and hang out and recharge my batteries. It’s hard going through mental feelings of rejection. It’s really nice when you realize that they were [ hopefully ] just mental though. And that people still want you because you’re dru.

So…yeah.

*nod*

xxdruxx