The Sun’ll Come Out – and then go back in

Two things before I begin being a better blogger by posting more.

Do you remember when you kissed me in the Fibonacci sequence and I got excited because it was the Fibonacci sequence and you got excited because I recognized it by 5?

I think that might have meant something important. Also, there’s an xkcd for that.

More also, this post isn’t about whatever this post was going to be about when I started it.

Right now I’m sheltering from the rain in an apartment complex that is, as far as I can tell, comprised entirely of Indian people. So far they’ve all been very friendly. I just got invited inside because I’ve been standing here for 20 minutes. Never fear, a ride will soon appear.

Ah ha ha. It rhymed.

And apparently there are Chinese residents, too!

Speaking of China, I tried a traditional Chinese rice ball today. It was wrapped in ( possibly ) bamboo leaves and it had nuts and mushrooms in it. It was absolutely delicious.

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I took a picture for you and only partially because I have no idea what they’re called in English or what the transliteration is.

So, back to what this blog is not about. It’s not about you. It’s about me. It’s about how I am willing to admit that you may not have been the best thing since sliced bread. Well, actually, it’s probably going to end up being entirely about food. ( Waffle about waffles? Yes, please! )

I think I’m okay. You were a dick. I mean, you helped me out with some paperwork, yes. But you also made me cry with harsh, needless and/or unfeeling comments. You are not the perfect person that I thought you were. You do not have to be my future.

I am, for the first time in memory, happy to be single. I realized that my destiny is mine. I don’t need to be your adoring, if high maintenance, girlfriend. And I don’t need the sweet, nerdy boyfriend. I don’t even want him right now.

What I do want, and this is going on the list, is to eat a waffle on a street named waffle. There just so happens to be a Waffle Drive in Michigan and I am totally going there. Alone. Without you, or her, or some as yet defined him.

I am less afraid now. I am less in need of affirmation. I am more Dru. And I totally deleted your profile on my xbox.

I think this will be the last blog for you, because I think I’m finally ready to stop writing about boys and girls and book characters. I’m ready to fill the world and my journals up with stories about me, who I am; not who I think I love.

I miss you, yes. But I miss you like I miss the pain in my teeth that the extraction fixed – you were familiar and now you’re gone. But I’m still alive.

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And I got new glasses. They’re Armani.

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6 thoughts on “The Sun’ll Come Out – and then go back in

  1. Back where I used to live there was an actual Waffle Restaurant. They had sweet waffles. They had savoury waffles. It was waffle heaven. Alas, it is now closed. Yet another reason why I don’t mourn moving.

    The thing about grief (and ended relationships are a grieving process) is that there may always be a twinge there, but eventually you learn to live again.

    I wish you well on your Waffle Vision Quest!

    • Thank you :) I look forward to the visions my waffle nomming will bring. Likely visions of very disturbed residents calling the police because of the strange waffle-eating girl on a bike in their street.

      There is very little that I have grieved that I’ve found peace with. Most of it is reflected upon with bitterness. Peace is so much nicer. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to let the damage go. <3

  2. Wow…your post sounded EXACTLY like me a year ago.

    Seriously like…what is UP with nerdy guys being just as asshole-y as non-nerdy guys? I don’t get it! You’re much better off without him ^^

    • :) Thank you. How did things turn out for you? Did you find self-reliance and inner peace and nirvana and stuff?

      It hurts more, I think, because the nerdy guys get under the radar and act all awkward and sweet, then WHAM – gigantic penises sprout out of their foreheads. *sigh* Stupid boys.

      • Actually, I did! Slowly but surely. I’ve been single for about a year now, and I’ve become much happier in that year. I’ve branched out and made new friends and just was able to do whatever I wanted to do without reporting back to some jealous, paranoid idiot all the time. So yes, you will feel so much better! You’re young and pretty and have all the time in the world to meet a great, nice nerdy guy…so just be patient (and if you DO find a nerdy guy and he has a cute friend, throw him my way okay? lol)!

        Yeahhh…..you know, sometimes that awkwardness turns into ignorance. I feel like a lot of awkward nerdy guys think that they can say and do whatever they want and that it won’t hurt anyone else. Men are idiots most of the time!

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