I want to talk to you about a pleasent thing called Mononucleosis or, as our friends in England call it, “Glandular Fever.”
Mononucleosis is a highly infectious disease which causes all of your throat and neck and sometimes underarm glands ( I’m not really sure what glands specifically we’re talking about here, or what they do, but I know they hurt really, really bad. ) to swell, fill with pus ( I almost used the english suffix meaning “like” or “to do with” as per my convention when writing. But then I realized that “y” might not be the best thing to stick on the end of the word “pus” ) and become otherwise thoroughly enjoyable. Except not.
I first caught mono when I was 15 years old. Not from my obsessive and slightly self-destructive habit of introducing myself ( “Hi, my name is dru – let’s make out” ) to complete strangers on a regular basis – as would make sense – but from kissing my boyfriend. He, for some reason, was completely resistant to all forms of tonsil-based illness. He made an excellent conducter though. He kissed a girl ( he totally liked it ) and then gave me her mono. Yum yum yum.
Ever since then, I’ve struggled with my tonsils and with recurring bouts of mono pretty much whenever I get any other illness. I can only assume that, in 2010 when I started this post, I was again suffering from the fatigue and suckiness of swollen glands.
Kaiko has what he thinks is Strep Throat right now. I’m hoping – beyond all hope – that I don’t catch it off him. I DO NOT WANT to get sick just before college starts. And I really don’t want to deal with mono again. Happily, the last time I was really sick was late last year, early this one. So maybe I won’t catch death and I’ll be healthy and happy and he’ll heal ( tehe, he’ll heal…homophones ftw ) and the world will be filled with rainbows and happiness. But no unicorns or dolphins because they’re evil.
You’ll have to click the links to figure out where the zombies come in.