So, I was born with ankyloglossia. I didn’t know what it was called until today. I had a tied tongue from birth until I was 16 years old. In April of 07 I had my tongue cut by an electrical arc thingy. I think it’s growing back – I got my tongue stuck between my teeth twice today.

While we’re on the subject of birth defects, let’s talk about tuberous breasts. I found reference to this when looking through before and after pictures of breast augmentation surgeries. It’s weird how much ones perception can be affected by the word “defect.” I’ve always had small breasts. I’ve always been self conscious about them. But the moment you put the word defect in my head and show me pictures that look like me topless…

Tonight I feel terrible. Wholly flawed. I don’t think I could bring myself to spend nearly seven grand on surgery for my breasts. Seven thousand dollars is a fortnight-long trip to Egypt or India or The Easter Islands for two with gifts and food and lodging.

Maybe it’s like the tiny piece of coal in my grandmother’s wedding ring – it makes the diamond much more valuable because it made it so far with a flaw.

But then, I’ve always disliked diamonds.


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