I just searched that in my chrome browser. Some pretty pictures to be had. And some minecraft.
So, dear blog-readers, I messed up. Really badly. I got mono or some other illness. Then I got really behind. Then I got really depressed. Now I am sitting in the unhappy position of being excruciatingly behind in all of my classes. Woefully so, in fact.
Upside? I am building a dresser. It’s a flat-pack thing, but apparently at Target that means hammers and wood glue and stuff :D It makes me feel nice. It’s nice to be less useless.
That’s sort of the thing about depression. You feel super useless which makes you act useless which make you actually useless which makes you feel even worse. You can see how it’s cyclical. And rather unfortunate.
I’ve gotten some things done, despite the nagging fatigue that keeps me insomnimaniacal lately. I got a little $40 sewing machine and I converted some old sheets into living room curtains. And some other old sheets into bedroom curtains. They’re quite nice :) I have Chinese characters that I can’t read and – actually, one of them is “harmony” i think. Harmony is supposed to be 和谐 but it’s just the 谐 part. I assume the rest are similarly cliché [ Update: I’ve been looking them up. 泰 is thailand or safe, peaceful, etc; the third one I can’t figure out, AT ALL. ] – and roses on my windows now. Much better than the stark nothingness that was hanging out before.
To come back to what I was saying: I messed up. I got ill, then I got behind, then I got depressed, then I got distracted, then I realized that I was about a month away from failing out of college. In my second semester.
On the upside, I built a gigantic pig out of wool in minecraft with a library in its derpy head.
So I was on the verge of panic. But then I looked down. Conveniently, I have a tattoo to prevent just such eventualities. I talked to my very dear friend, and part-time musketeer, Austin – not the crazy one that drank drano – and he suggested that I talk to my adviser. So I did. All three of them. And the resolution was a strategic retreat from my second semester, to reattack things in the summer. I am sad. I am nearly beaten. But I will, as my International Studies adviser advised when he saw my arm, not panic. I will beat this college beast. It will happen.
Speaking of which: Chinese is hard. And I don’t suck so much at starcraft anymore – but I’m still crap.
[ I hate it when my pictures take more space than my text. Poo. ]