That Girl Needs A Monster

I have become addicted.

Cake drinks about 18 cans of Monster a day. He particularly favors the blue kind because it has no carbs and no calories and helps him watch his girlish figure. I appreciate them because, when mixed with a bag of skittles, they make him so hyper and fun that I think he might actually explode.

In fact, here’s an audio clip for you:

Great, right?

As a side note: why is it so hard to record calls with an iPhone? I could do it with my old Nokia. Y u no as good as Nokia, iPhone?!

But yeah, I love beverages and it’s so hard for me to constantly have a can of beverage within my reach but not drink it. I hate the way Monster tastes though. I tried the Green one and it tastes like disgusting. I tried the Blue one and it tastes like grape flavored heart failure. Then, then I tried the Red one. It’s called “Assault” and it tastes like lithe ballerinas and making out in the banquet hall. But no one stocks it.

So I switched to rehab!! And it is so delicious. The Rojo Red tea business is delicious. Tastes like cranberry. Then there’s a green tea one, an orange juice one that I like in the mornings cuz orange juice, a lemonade one that’s good for the afternoons, and a “protean” one that has whey protein in it. It’s weird and actually makes me thirstier. And then I collected all the tabs!


And THEN I instagrammed them to make them all artistic for my blog.

Ta da!


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